Adventures In D3 Football Heaven

Before I try and wax poetic about the modern marvel that is the Erin J. Lastinger Athletics Complex, allow me to provide you with some raw numbers:

2007 Chapman University endowment: $175 Million
Cost of Erin J. Lastinger Athletics Complex: $37 Million (21% of endowment!!!!!!!!!!)

2007 Pomona College endowment: $1.762 Billion
Cost of Merritt Field & Raines Center (estimated): $2,250 (depression era dollars) & 160 acres of "good orange growing land"

21% of Pomona's endowment = $370 Million; to put this in perspective Dirty Dan's own University of Minnesota recently spent a mere $248.7 Million on it's new state-of -the-art facility.

As fate had it October 4, 2008 was opening night at Ernie Chapman Stadium, and Chapman brought all of it's recruits and alumni out for the show. Halftime included cheerleaders, a band, fireworks, and Pete The Panther, Chapman's funky disco-dancing mascot. Sagehen fans are generally treated to Cecil Sagehen jogging around haplessly, 2 -3 varsity basketball players playing catch, and if they are incredibly lucky, a drunken streaker.

More importantly, the atmosphere at the game was absolutely electric. More than 2,000 fans showed up for the game and they would not shut up. Some genius played the same Akon song 3 times over the course of the game and the crowd broke out in spontaneous dance all three times! This should never happen, let alone at a d3 football game. Fireworks, liquored up alumni, pumped-up crowd, constant dancing... sounds more like a party than a sporting event...you probably had to be there.

As for our beloved hero, Saturday's game once again illustrated the paradox of the kicker. As in the Puget Sound game, Dan had very little action. As in the Puget Sound game, Dan was pretty much flawless. As in the Puget Sound game, the Sagehens lost. 88 of Jake "the Snake" Caron's 240 passing yards came on completed hail mary's that ended both halfs. Those completions resulted in 0 points as brave Sagehen receivers were wrestled down at the 10 and 1 yard lines respectively. Apart from it's laughable attempts at playing prevent, Chapman's defense dominated.

The Sagehens mustered only 3 points on Dan's first field goal of the year, a 26 yard kick of glorious height and frightening speed. Even the most hardened Chapman fan couldn't help but wonder at how Dirty Dan achieved such scientific precision as the ball glided through the center of the uprights. Dan again was asked to kickoff high and short, which he did. The contradictions involved in this strategy are positively maddening: kick it short! (so the other teams designated returners can't catch it) kick it high! (so the other teams designated returners have time to run under it!) net effect: let their best athletes start running at the 20 instead of the 10. Needless to say Dan's kickoff average did not improve.

Special Ultra Platinum Edition Code Red Exclusive Update: Your prayers have been answered! At 1 PM Pacific, on October 11th, Pomona-Pitzer vs. Cal Lutheran will be broadcast live!!!!!!!! http://www.kadytv.com/ first link at the top (date is mislabeled) Be sure to tune in!